Can a Christian Have a Boyfriend? Amen. A Pastor's Heart. by Pastor Walter Snyder Q: As a Christian, is there anything wrong with having a boyfriend? A: This is one of those "it depends" questions. "It depends" upon you and the boy. How old, how mature, how responsible, how able to keep yourselves out of tempting or compromising situations are both of you? Since you are even asking, I assume that you are young enough to be living with your parents. So also, "it depends" upon your parents' opinion. Sometimes they can be overprotective, but most parents also have seen a lot of the pitfalls (and the jerks) who come with dating and more easily recognize problems than do we when we're head-over-heels in love. Finally, "it depends" upon your reasons for wanting to have a boyfriend. Many people date (and pair off for a time) with no real reason except that they want to or that it's the thing that everyone does. Others do it specifically to have opportunity for premarital sexual gratification. I'm not saying that every date is a screening process for marriage, because I know that you might not be ready for marriage. Yet if you're seriously dating someone you'd never consider marrying, then ask yourself why? So if you and he show maturity, if your parents have no major objections, and if you are doing it for reasons either of good, Christian companionship or of investigating a lifelong Christian marriage, then I think you're on the right track. Q: Dear Pastor, what does "amen" mean? It's said after prayer and also if the pastor says something that sounds good in church. A: Amen means "certainly" or "truly." In the King James Version, Jesus is quoted as saying, "Verily, verily, I say. . . ." Later Bibles have used "truly, truly," or other similar words. What they are translating is, "Amen, amen." Christians use the amen to end prayers as a sign of trust. Martin Luther wrote that the amen at the end of the Lord's Prayer means, "I should be certain that these petitions are pleasing to our Father in heaven, and are heard by Him; for He Himself has commanded us to pray in this way and has promised to hear us. Amen, amen, means, 'yes, yes, it shall be so.'" We also use amen when making a confession of faith, as in one of the creeds. In such, we say that we agree with a statement of belief in God. Amen is also used as an acceptance of a gift from God, as when we hear the blessing. Thus, some churches have the tradition of the congregation responding with amens during the sermon. While some do this only out of habit or if the preacher is making them feel good, the root of the practice is in the word's meaning: The amen should mean that the people agree with the preaching and with the God whose Word is being preached. Q: What does it mean to have a pastor's heart? A: Since "pastor" means "shepherd," it means to have the heart of a shepherd. It means caring about others, taking time to get to know them, and loving them with God's love even when they are being completely unlovable. It also means doing what is best for the flock, not necessarily what is most popular or trendy. Thus, having a pastor's heart means speaking God's truth in love, never compromising the truth or shorting the love. Christ is the One True Pastor (the Good Shepherd). Therefore, a pastor's heart is the heart of Christ and might be best expressed by seeing our own pastors in one of those "Good Shepherd" pictures (Jesus carrying the lost sheep across His shoulders or cradling it in His arms). One with a pastor's heart will continually seek to reach the lost, find the missing, strengthen the weak, and guide each lamb entrusted to his care to its eternal pasture. This shepherding goes from birth---especially the rebirth of Baptism, through life---including the "valley of the shadow of death," and to the threshold of eternal life. We know that no earthly pastor will fulfill the role perfectly, yet that is the model given to us and, with the help of God, this we struggle so to do, knowing that Christ works in and through us, succeeding where we continually fall short. To Ask the Pastor, please write Ask the Pastor, PO Box 12, Emma, MO, 65327 or send email to askthepastor@aol.com. Walter Snyder is the pastor of Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Emma, Missouri and coauthor of the book "What Do Lutherans Believe." Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from ~The Holy Bible, English Standard Version~, © 2001 by Crossway Bibles. Ask the Pastor, © 2002 by Walter P. Snyder. It may be reproduced in totality, including this disclaimer, by anyone, provided that no profit is generated by said republication and redistribution. Translations into other languages should similarly note the United States and any appropriate international copyrights, as well as God's Scriptural injunctions concerning the property of others.