Ask the Pastor: Marriage Questions: Is Wife Abuse Wrong and Was Jesus Married? Creation and Evolution Proof. by the Rev. Walter Snyder Religion Columnist Q: Is there anything in the Bible that says you are not supposed to abuse your wife? A: Let's start with, "The two shall become one flesh," in Genesis 2, quoted by Christ (Matthew 19) and Saint Paul (Ephesians 5). Thus, wife-abuse is self-abuse. I'll write a bit more about this passage from Paul in a moment. Before that, keep in mind that any violence or even hateful thought toward another is murder (as Jesus said, "Whoever hates his brother has already committed murder"), so violence against one's wife is a sin against the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill." Now we can look a bit more at Ephesians 5. Verse 21 says, "Submit to *one another* out of reverence for Christ. [emphasis added]" Neither spouse is to take advantage of nor mistreat the other. While the husband is made "head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church," this headship is intended to look after the body and do what is best for the bride. Only someone who is spiritually depraved or mentally ill would hate his own body and mistreat this temple of the Holy Ghost. The husband is to treat the wife as any right-thinking man would treat himself: "He who loves his wife loves himself." As Paul also writes, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church." We see that tender care, loving nurture, and even dying for her is what men are to do for their wives, just as our Savior did for his Church. Q: I saw a show on TV, during which they spent a significant amount of time suggesting that Jesus may have been married. A couple of their arguments are that we know little of his life until his ministry began at age 30 and Jewish custom would have made it extremely likely that he was married and also that there is nothing indicating that he was not married. I have also heard the argument that God commands us to be married. The last one strikes me the most. He was baptized yet had no sin, so shouldn't we expect he was obedient to all of Gods commands? What are your thoughts? A: An argument from silence on such an important topic isn't all that persuasive. If we grant that Paul was a faithful apostle, then what about his urging those who could remain single to do so and to serve the Lord more completely? God doesn't command all to marry. He provides marriage for all who desire familial companionship, sex, and children. However, Jesus transcends these things. Earthly marriage is, in large part, for procreation. Jesus didn't come to earth to have children. Instead, he came to make children for his Father. He also didn't come to get married, since in the resurrection, there is, as he said, neither marriage nor giving in marriage. Death annuls a wedding. Yet he did come to court and to win a bride. This bride is the Church, also called the new Jerusalem. You get a wonderful picture of this in Ephesians 5, as well as in several parts of Revelation, especially the final chapters. All who believe in him make up the bride, and we will join in the completion of this marriage in the resurrection. Q: My science teacher keeps pushing evolution and making fun of those who believe in creation. Is there any scientific evidence that the world was created by God so I could talk to her about it and try to help her "see" God like I do? A: While there is a fair bit of evidence that either shows the possibility of divine creation or rebuts some evolutionary teaching, what you're really dealing with is someone who *believes* differently than you do. Since you wrote me on the internet, you could go to my Christianity page and find links to various creationist groups. You can also search "evolution" at the Lutheran Church---Missouri Synod page . However, you must remember that no one comes to the Kingdom by intellectual argument, but by God-created faith in Jesus Christ. So don't only concern yourself with the Bible-denying science (and there is also Bible-accepting science), but with her total spiritual well-being. Pray for her conversion and ask God to help you live your faith and love your "enemy"---even though that's probably not the right word, she still is faith's enemy and is speaking in such manner as appears to be an attack on the beliefs God has given to you. If she actually initiates attacks on Christian beliefs in the classroom, remind her that you are also protected by the Constitution and that she is trying to elevate her godless religion at the expense of your own. To Ask the Pastor, please write Ask the Pastor, PO Box 12, Emma, MO, 65327 or send email to askthepastor@aol.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Walter Snyder is the pastor of Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Emma, Missouri and coauthor of the book "What Do Lutherans Believe." Ask the Pastor is copyright (c) 2001 by Walter P. Snyder. It may be reproduced in totality, including this disclaimer, by anyone, provided that no profit is generated by said republication and redistribution. Translations into other languages should similarly note the United States and any appropriate international copyrights, as well as God's Scriptural injunctions concerning the property of others.