<> Ask the Pastor The Rev. Fr. Walter Snyder Q: I am 29, Chinese, and a Lutheran from Malaysia. I have been dating for the last two and a half years. She is a Roman Catholic (RC) and our relationship was beautiful. We love each other very much. The problem arose when I decided to marry her this November. Her parents have insisted that we have to be married in the Roman Catholic church while my mother wanted me to be married in the Lutheran church. Her parents have also laid down rules like we have to bring up a future child in the RC way. I was informed yesterday the child will be baptized in the RC church. Both our parents are very stern with their preferences whilst she and I have no avail to the solution. Please help us by providing an answer in conjunction with the teachings of the Bible. Your help is greatly appreciated. Thank you. Peace be with you. A: Dear friend, ultimately, this decision will need to be made by you and your fiancé. Even as you endeavor to honor your parents, you are also pointing to that time when you leave them to cleave to each other. Yet although you marry each other, you will each be "marrying" the other's family, as well. Her parents' desires are not only personal; they are Roman Catholic teaching. Some couples and certain priests ignore or modify these stipulations, but not with official approval of the Catholic Church. As a Lutheran pastor, I would certainly hope that you married and remained in the Lutheran Church. The part of all this that most concerns me is the stipulation that the children will be raised in a certain way. You will have to decide how important the teachings of the Lutheran Church are. Would you be able to abide for all time your children being raised differently than you have learned to believe? Where you are married is less important. Even where the children would be baptized matters not so much, as long as it is a Christian, Trinitarian baptism. You still have time to go through religious instructions in each other's churches. I urge you to attend both Lutheran and Catholic classes together. Compare and contrast what you hear with how you were raised. Where is the Gospel of the forgiveness of sins most clearly proclaimed? Which gives you the surest message of eternal salvation through the work of Christ Jesus? Does either place manmade, artificial barriers between you and God? Which church appears to most clearly and completely teach the Holy Scriptures, then act according to them? You need also to understand fully each other. Is church allegiance the same as fidelity to your Savior? How would either of you feel if you walked away from the church of your youth? Finally--although I pray it doesn't come to this extreme--one or both of you may have to choose between the other and your own church. In all of this, continue to pray for guidance from your loving God. Some might urge you both to ignore the differences, especially since Christians in Malaysia are a distinct minority. Yet if being a faithful follower of the Savior is important, then what you are taught, how you are led, and how your children are instructed in the Faith are also important. While Lutherans and Catholics are quite close in many teachings, the doctrine of Justification by Grace through Faith forms a distinct split between Catholicism and Lutheranism. Because of differing interpretations of justification, differences then occur in understanding confession and absolution (and Catholic penance), the Lord's Supper (including the "sacrifice" of the Mass), the necessity of good works for salvation, obedience to ecclesiastical authority, and more. There is more you could examine, this is only a start. Please write me back, if you wish, and we can discuss your situation more fully. I will pray for you. Q: What is the Scriptural reference which supports our confession that Christ "descended into Hell?" A: Christ went to hell, not to be punished, but to declare victory over his enemies. 1 Peter 3:18-19 says, "[Christ] was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, through whom also He went and proclaimed [victory] to the spirits in prison." Paul may also allude to this when he writes, "Having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. (Colossians 2:15)" That's it for now. You can submit questions by mail to "Ask the Pastor," PO Box 1080, Jasper, Texas, 75951; E-mail xrysostom@aol.com; or just stop me on the street. Walter Snyder is the pastor of St. Paul and Faith Lutheran Churches in Jasper and Woodville and coauthor of the book "What Do Lutherans Believe? A Study Guide in Christian Teachings for Adults." Copyright (c) 1998 by Walter P. Snyder Permission is granted by author to reproduce or retransmit this by any means, provided that its content is not altered, that this notice of copyright and permission is included, and that no financial gain is realized.