<> Ask the Pastor Fr. Walter P. Snyder Q: Walter and I are both in our early 20s but we sometimes find it hard to be a Christian in today's world. We both love dancing but according to Rebecca Brown to go into a night club is to go into Satan's territory and in doing so we bring a curse on ourselves. That is just one but it seems to us that Christians cannot do a lot of things. Don't get me wrong; we have no intention of giving up our faith but what can we do to have fun? Movies are out as there is swearing sex or violence in the vast majority of them even in so called children's programs. Secular music is out because it is Satan's and so that means any place that plays the music such as roller or ice skating arenas. Even playing our Sony Play Station is out as we like the martial arts games and we all know that martial arts are from the Devil. How do young Christian couples have fun? How are we supposed to date? How do young married couples go out to enjoy themselves together? The food is better at home then a restaurant so please don't suggest that option. A classical music concert or the opera is also out as it would destroy Walter's finely tuned senses. In Australia, we don't have a lot of Christian musicians, etc. that we can go and see. So my question again is this: Where can we go to have fun? Can anyone help us? We would appreciate any input on this issue and we thank you all in advance for your kind help. A: It sounds like someone is worried that you're possibly going to enjoy some part of life. Since when did God change his holy Name to "Rebecca Brown"? Yes, there are things we Christians do best to avoid, but it sounds like someone's trying to change "in the world, not of it"--which is Scriptural--to "in a coma and completely out of it"--which is nonsense. Living as forgiven children of God frees us from the shackles of the Law. Of course, we concern ourselves with what is good and bad, with the impression we make upon others, and with what we take in. I don't recommend going to clubs to get drunk or to the movies to watch grossly immoral pictures. I won't suggest that you play the most vile, deviant, or satanic music imaginable on your radio. Nor will I suggest that Mortal Kombat is in any way uplifting or pleasing to God. If doing something causes you to sin, or if it leads another to sin, don't do it. However, if you can derive pleasure from the things of this world without turning your back on God, then enjoy! God is not a frowning monster, waiting to strike you dead for experiencing pleasure. As an aside, I feel sorry that your "Walter" finds no joy in classical music, however, this "Walter" took until his 25th year to even begin an appreciation of orchestral music, and I still have much to learn. And even then, an awful lot of it was written by non-Christians, often with pagan or mythological themes--but I still listen! Q: Concerning forgiveness, if someone does something terrible to you (I'm talking about something like a violent crime, not a thoughtless mistake) are you required to forgive him, even if he has no remorse and does not ask or wish your forgiveness? I know that we are all sinners, and a sin is a sin, and God has forgiven me of many things, but I thought that was because I confessed and asked forgiveness. If I forgive this other person and begin to treat him like I would treat anyone else, then doesn't that say that what he did was ok? On the other hand, holding the rage inside hurts me and I would like to be free of it and turn over the "holding of accountability" to God but I can't seem to let it go because something inside of me screams that this was not right and that I can never pretend that it is all ok. What do you know about forgiveness and how to do it when it won't come? A: Forgiveness is not a feeling but a fact. Jesus' last quoted sentence to Judas began, "Friend." In his agony on the cross, we can't say that he "felt" like forgiving his tormenters. The same goes with Stephen, who echoes his Savior's words of forgiveness while being stoned. Our ability to forgive comes from our being forgiven and truly believing that it is not because of ourselves, but because of God's love for us in Christ Jesus. Christ's reconciliation of us with our Father came, "while we were yet sinners." He gave (and we now also give) forgiveness as a gift, leaving it to others to receive and rejoice in the gift or to scorn and despise it. This is part of what we pray in the Our Father: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." There is no spiritual change without forgiveness--and if nothing changes afterward, feel free to "shake the dust off your sandals" and commit the offending party to the Lord. Don't worry about a "requirement" to forgive. Consider and rejoice in the forgiveness you have received. Then you will be ever more willing to share this joy with others. If they think they can live without it, the loss is theirs, and we sorrow for them, even as we pray that God will change their hardened hearts. That's it for now. You can submit questions by mail to "Ask the Pastor," PO Box 1080, Jasper, Texas, 75951; E-mail xrysostom@aol.com; or just stop me on the street. Walter Snyder is the pastor of St. Paul and Faith Lutheran Churches in Jasper and Woodville, Texas and coauthor of the book "What Do Lutherans Believe? A Study Guide in Christian Teachings for Adults." Copyright (c) 1998 by Walter P. Snyder Permission is granted by author to reproduce or retransmit this by any means, provided that its content is not altered, that this notice of copyright and permission is included, and that no financial gain is realized.